A New Project

While my sister was in town for Christmas I decided to start something I've been thinking about for a while now. I've been tossing around the idea of writing a journal full of stories, adventures, and thoughts from our lives for our future children and grandchildren to read someday. Some of these stories might be fiction (think mini-bears), but most of them will be from our childhood and early years of marriage. I want our kids to know what we were like before they came along, and I want them to know what marriage is like when it's young so that their marriages are more likely to be sustainable with realistic expectations. I have yet to start writing this, but I found a nice journal to do it in, and I think I'm ready to start it. I hope Tim feels comfortable enough to write in a story or more of his (Honduran spring break, florida sans shoes, other great tales from his early life). I'd like them to know our faith walk through this notebook. To know the real us. The us that isn't perfect or all-knowing. The part of us that is nothing if not human, rife with human error. I want them to know that God is with them by seeing how He has been with us. I also want them to know that they're not just loved, but also wanted.

Zombie Days

Yesterday was a good day. I got a lot done in the house, nothing bad happened, it was good. Today I feel like a zombie. I can't think straight, I can't remember the things I'm supposed to do, simple tasks take a ton of thought and processing. I don't know why. I'm able to write, though the number of typos I have to correct is crazy, and writing is the only way I'm able to process anything today. I went on facebook this afternoon in one of those "what am I doing" moments, and found that my sister-in-law sent me a message about having babies. It was a satirical post someone else had made on facebook about the lessons you should learn and the steps you should take before becoming a parent. (I enjoyed the part that said to take a grown goat to the grocery store with you, likening it to a small, preschool aged child.) It was funny, and I'm sure she meant it only as a joke, but part of me was like "huh... thoughtless". If things worked out differently, I'd have a child right now. I then hit the 'home' link and was going to go back to work when I saw a new picture of one of my old roommates from college and her husband. I clicked on it and the caption said "Parents to be!" Ugh. I mean, great for them, but really? Some days it just comes back to me and bites me in the butt.

I guess I should go back to staring at the things I should be doing for work, but being unable to figure them out. *sigh* I'm a loser.